here she comes, here comes speed racer

I’ve mentioned before my idea that I can bring some zen into my life by not speeding. Of course, this comes and goes in spurts because I’ve never really had a GOOD reason to slow my roll.

Certainly, safety comes to mind as a potential reason to slow down. But after serving my time on the hellish streets of West LA, I can categorically say I am the safest fastest driver you’ll ever meet. (Though, after 5 years away from that dreadful place, my skills may be a bit lacking.) If one wants to get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, one must be an aggressive asshole. Because everyone else around you is, and when in Rome…. My poor mother used to hand me her car keys, shell-shocked from the experience of getting off the 405 in the middle of rush hour traffic. I remember giving her advice on the Los Angeles Rules of the Road:

“Do not, I repeat DO NOT stop at yellow lights. You’ll be rear-ended. Yellow means green.”

“Sometimes red means green too. Especially if you’re turning at an unprotected left. It is totally acceptable to be the 3rd or 4th car running a red light on a left turn.”

“Don’t use your turn signal. That just prompts people to speed up and NOT let you in.”

If safety wasn’t going to be a good enough reason, perhaps the fact that you only save a few MINUTES by speeding would. Nope. Notsomuch. It doesn’t matter that I’d shaved off three minutes of my time by driving at break-neck speeds. No matter that I was constantly on the look-out for highway patrol.

No.

What finally did it? After noticing that my tank wasn’t totally empty at the 240 mark (which it usually is) I realized I had been driving a little slower recently. So, I decided to drive slow for the entire tank and you know what?

I GAINED 50 MILES ON MY TANK. Upped my MPG to 20 (versus the barely 18 I was getting). That’s a one-way trip to OC to visit my HSC (which is progressing along nicely).

So yes. I drive slow now. Call me grandma, call me whatever. I’m not going over 70 on the freeway. And that’s okay. Though now I’m looking again at a motorcycle option because you just can’t beat 50 miles to the gallon….

vroom vroom, baby.